The raccoon has – A criminal-masked face;

Which helps him leave crime scenes – Without a trace;

The animal police – Can’t track him down;

He can steal what he wants – All around town;

And he can break laws – Without being found;

He seems to be stuck with – This identity;

Folks see him and – Only bad things see;

It’s sad ‘cuz even – If he could change;

His natural crime look – Would still remain;

Even if he went – Through the 12 steps;

He’d probably not much – Sympathy get;

Natural selection – Criminalized him;

To join the mafia – It is a win.